How I fall in love with a motorcycle

I am not cool so I don't do well with the whole "met her in the produce section and it was love at first sight" thing. I have to resort to internet dating. You know, Craig's List and Ebay are my fabulous favorites. The standard net wave and coffee date has been working well.

Now, about the coffee date, I always arrive on time with my truck and tie downs. I like to start out with a formal introduction to her previous fling. Talk about her behavior and any trouble she may have been. I get her up on center stands, and she gets a hands on inspection. If I like what I see and she is willing, I fire her up and let her run for a bit. If she won't "go all the way" on the first date, I excuse my self to the restroom and dash out on the bill.

If all has gone well, I'll negotiate a dowry with the soon to be ex, load her up on the truck and take her to my place for cocktails. Once we get to my place, I skip the drinks and take her to the driveway and hose her down like a coed at a wet tee shirt contest. I will dry her with a towel and even a little air, then, it is off to the shop for a little music and lots of heavy petting. We may even dry hump a bit before I'm off to bed.

On day two, I usually move fast. I'll sneak out before she's up and return with presents. I'm not very original on this but she will get a spa treatment to die for. It is an all out deal, Seafoam tonic for her digestive health, and a Seafoam colonic the help her keep everything moving and grooving. I'll show her the shop manual I bought, just to let her know I care about our relationship. She will get an assortment of new filters, bulbs, fresh fluids and fuel. I like good brakes and I can not lie. I'll check them out so I don't die. Moving along, I won't forget to adjust her air pressure and play with her tires a bit.

At this point we are going outside, it is time to get it on. I like to show up in black leathers just to let her know, "Daddy is going for a ride". I'll walk her gently to the driveway, turn her key, set her choke and push her button. She'll be running hard at this point but I'll dial that choke down, cause I'm going to let her warm up before I see what kind of moves she's got. Now that the juices are flowing I'll throw a leg over and down the road we'll go.

We'll ride slow, just a tease of foreplay. The pace will quicken. Then, before too long I've managed to find Chuckenut Drive and I'm rolling all over her leaning her back and forth. The throttle is rolled and the revs are high. We'll have run the "nut" up and down a few times before we ride on back to the shop for Cocktails and stories. I'll probably embarrass myself by going for the "heavy petting and dry hump" action, but, she'll get used to it, they all do.

Now that we are in love, I'll be the guy that will take her to " Funky Town". She will be as new and better. More on that later, today's topic is all about falling in love.

Enjoy, Matt

 

LOL.

And I love the little ticking sounds they make, as they cool down from a hard ride!

 

Well done, Matt...

After a good ride, you always want to go right back at it again...

 

My girl's a little bitchy, seemingly randomly, but i'm starting to notice a monthly cycle...she'll get all pissy when i try to mount her, and refuses to put out, not even a little bit.
I still love her.

 

Love it! LMAO, stop man it hurts!

"I like good brakes and I can not lie. I'll check them out so I don't die."
"I like to show up in black leathers just to let her know, "Daddy is going for a ride". "

Where do you come up with this stuff?

 

A+
Very creative.
Excellent imagery.

You could have gone a little more F. Scott Fitzgerald or William Faulkner on us but you kept it pretty Pulp Fiction.

You got your smiles from everybody ... so, that makes it good.

Thanks for breaking-up the boredom of "My Bike Won't Start or Run" for a welcome change of pace.

 

The story of my life LOL

 

Thanks for the compliments. The wife and I just went tooling about for a couple of hours. Both bikes running good for now. Going to have to get to the fork seals on the Seca, both sides are showing weeping. I new it would be sooner than later and had got a set yesterday when I rode to Seattle on the Wing. I also picked up brake pads, all three sets, for the Wing while I was there. Looks like I get a shop day this week end. Probable going to pump up the suspension of the wing, as well. Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Matt

 

It's Bike Week in New Hampshire!

I rode up to the Welcome Center and got a close look at one of those 3-Wheeled Can-Am Spyders.

The guy told me that you'll be able to try one out this weekend at the event.

 

Well said but remember to wear protection you dont know who was riding her before so if its not on its not on!